Saturday, August 05, 2017

Behind me

The argument happened behind me.

I was rolling up a ramp and paused to center myself and push over the door sill. At that moment a couple came out of the building and seeing me pause, the woman asked if I needed help. I said, "No, thanks but I'm good." She nodded and kept walking and I pushed up and over the sill and was continuing in. I heard this behind me.

"No," she said, "he doesn't need any help." I don't know because I didn't see but I presume her husband was going to grab the back of my chair to 'help' me.

"No, don't," she said insistent.

"I'm just going to help him."

"I asked and he said 'no'" she said.

"He probably didn't want help from a woman." he said.

"HE SAID NO!" she said loudly, angrily.

"Alright, alright," he said, "no reason to get upset I just wanted to help the guy."

"He said 'no' you were right behind me, you heard him, he said 'no.'

"Yeah, yeah, 'No means no,' I get it."

"No, no you don't," she said, crying.

They went through the door I went into the lobby, and it was over.

But let's review.

'No means no."

Review over.

4 comments:

Carol Landaverde said...

At least one person understands No means No. I'm a little offended about the woman comment. Like we are not capable of helping. Or did he think you would be offended by receiving help from a woman. A lot to ponder.

Alicia Butcher Ehrhardt said...

And that guy, even with the evidence before him that you made it in, still thinks you refused her help because she is a woman, and would have been glad to have his, because he's a big strong man.

You really can't get through to some people.

Unknown said...

No means no is a phrase I have heard used in teaching teens and young adults how to avoid ending up in sexual assault "he said she said" situations, especially when alcohol or similar substances are involved.

Interesting choice of phrase - very accurate - and her tears when she had to keep repeating the phrase to him suggests that she 'got it' about your response as she is struggling with a partner who does not 'get it' in respecting her autonomy.
clairesmum

Andrea Shettle, MSW said...

Clairesmum, I had the same thought at reading about the woman's tears, that she too might be confronting issues with others, specifically the partner, not really respecting her right to say "no" and have that mean something.

Andrea S.